PIRANHA 3DD Movie Review - It's a 'C' grade spoof
Saturday, June 16, 2012 11:48:56 AM (IST)
Anaam, Bollywood Trade Editorial
It’s a 'C' grade spoof and a combo of Zombie-like mayhem, sex, and irreverent comedy. Thousands of these low budget films are made and marketed around the world every year. The best way to enjoy these stupid self-mocking films is to watch them in a group.
Killer prehistoric piranhas have survived and have migrated to another lake near Lake Victoria through some subterranean route. They are breeding inside the dead body of a cow and two farmers who venture into the lake to recover the body accidentally release them and get eaten up by the hungry and deadly piranha brood.
On the other hand a greedy guy Chet (David Koechner) revives a water park, renames it as Big Wet, with an adult section that has Baywatch kind of babes doing duty as lifeguards. His step-daughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), who co-owns the park, is not in favour of it. While piranhas continue to make meal of those who stray into the lake, they are all set to enter the Big Wet through an illegal bore well that pumps in water to the park. The underground water table is connected to the lake. The things are going to get complicated since the piranha expert Mr. Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) is of the firm opinion that soon these Piranhas will develop the ability to walk if not talk.
So, this sets the story up. The big mayhem will begin as the Big Wet opens. In the mean time one of the characters, named Shelby, will have a piranha making its way into her vaginal cavity a la the scene in UNCLE BOONMEE WHO CAN RECALL HIS PAST LIVES where a fish makes love to a woman, the ultimate female fantasy for those who indulge in vagina monologues. Big Wet opens as the celebrity lifeguard David Hasselhoff, the Baywatch hero, takes a break from his constant womanising and arrives at the park to wow the family crowd. And slowly the fanged piranhas, who have made their way into the park’s pool, start biting, mauling, and maiming the crowd of half naked Bikini and hot pant clad women, and kids.
The film is obviously a spoof of the original and is specially designed for the pleasure of those who can see great humour in a camera dwelling tastily on the bulging bust-line of a piranha bitten woman running for life amidst severed limbs and half eaten dead bodies. For those who watch films for sensual stimulus, there is this sequence where the little piranhas pour out of the bathtub tap and make their way between the legs of the film’s female lead. In case you seek messages in films, PIRANHA 3DD definitely has one for the young people. Indulging in youthful pre-marital sex close to a lake is perilous. There may be a piranha waiting to eat you up inside a cavity.
There must have been a lot more in the film for pleasure seekers but according to unconfirmed reports the Indian Censor Board has had a serious look at it before certifying it fit for exhibition and has chopped off the thrilling stuff lest it could lead youngsters up the wrong path. However, they are free to watch those bits on the Internet.
This film is beyond the pale of our rating system.
Tags : PIRANHA 3DD Movie Review, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, David Koechner, Chris Zylka, Katrina Bowden, Gary Busey, Christopher Lloyd, David Hasselhoff